Seeing yourself as a victim in a matter means you have relinquished the position of Victor to your offender. And in a quest to even the score, you’ll be vengeful. Forgiveness seals your victory. Forgiveness isn’t for sale. It’s a gift.
A True Life Story:
I was angry with her. I was angry to a point I ended our friendship and told her to move on. She called a thousand times, but I neglected her calls. She sent countless messages telling me how sorry she is. She wrote me poems and made sure she sent it to me on a daily basis.
Every morning, I woke up and logged on my WhatsApp and the first message I saw was her. I simply deleted it without even reading it.
But she was determined to make peace. I just didn’t want peace. I didn’t want to give a second chance to be hurt the way I was One day, I logged in WhatsApp, and didn’t see her text as I used to. She had actually crossed my mind that day. I check her last message and discovered she had sent it 3 weeks back. I logged on Facebook and went to check her profile. She had last logged in 3 weeks ago.
For a moment I was restless. Five years of friendship, and she had never for once gone 2 days without logging in, or trying to contact me.I hid my number and tried her line just to make sure it was on. But it was switched off.
I could no longer sleep. My thought wandered all night. I kept thinking of her. And that’s when the memories of our beautiful moments together crossed my mind. I kept trying the number over and over again. I tried it for one full week.
One day, it rang. Her sister picked. She greeted me. I introduced myself as Shola, and told her I wanted to talk with her sister- the owner of the number. She asked if I was Shola Johnson.
I said yes I was. She told me her sister left me a message, and that was the only reason she was still holding onto the sister’s sim card.
“My sister asked me to beg you to forgive her. She knows that she has wronged you. You are the only person whose name she sang everyday, even while at the hospital.”
I immediately asked why her sis was at the hospital. She told me her sis suffered from ‘Dilated Cardiomyopathy.’
A sickness that affects the heart chambers, thereby making it dilated, and as a result of heart muscle weakness, the heart finds it hard to pump blood properly😲.
“she died 3 weeks ago at General Hospital. A day before she died, she called me and told me everything that happened. She feared she could go to hell for what she had done to you, if you do not forgive and let go. She said you have refused picking her calls.
Even when she called to tell you about her condition. She sent you messages but it was never opened nor read. But she told me, when ever you call, I should tell you she is sorry and beg you to please forgive her.
Please Jay, forgive her, so my sister’s soul shall rest in peace. “She spoke Admist tears 😭. I hung up the call and cried bitterly😭. I had long forgiven her. I didn’t know why I refused communicating with her. My heart bled.
I picked my phone and went through the last message she sent to me. It was a poem. A poem about heaven and earth, and how every good friend shall be together in heaven someday. At the end was a message.
Please forgive me. I want to die knowing that I have made peace with everyone I ever hurt. I have forgiven you too Jay. My hearts is clean. Make yours clean too, by forgiving me.”
While I read that message, I pondered about life. Life is short; very short. One minute you are alive, and the next minute you are wiped off the surface of the earth. Death is uncertain. What ever you do, ensure you do not leave this world holding a grudge against someone.
Every minute should be moment of forgiveness for one person who has wronged you. I forgive everyone who has hurt me in the past. I forgive all those who played with my emotions. I forgive all those who took advantage of me.
I forgive those who did me wrong in one way or the other. I forgive because I want to have a heart that is light, and not a heavy heart. I want to have a heart that is free from grudges.
Search your heart, call that person you are angry with, and say the words “I forgive you.”